Sunday Snapshot: Setbacks and Letting Go
Yesterday afternoon I interviewed Robert McDowell for the first in a series of interviews I’m doing with the Three Intentions teachers. It was a great interview, and it recorded well. We talked about his background and some of the inspirations that led him to what he’s doing today. And we also talked about setbacks and letting go.
I had suggested that letting go is really hard, and therefore courageous. And he countered that it takes a certain amount of presence, focus, and dedication. So perhaps more than being a courageous act in and of itself, it requires us to stay with where we are and notice what comes up.
And so not two hours had passed when I went home, sat at my home computer, and attempted to upload the software that came with this recording device I’d bought just over a year ago. I’d been using it on a work computer that died about a week ago, so I was installing it for the first time on a new computer. And within the first five minutes, things started not going my way. Things continued to not go my way until I hit so many buttons on the recorder that I first lost the display information and then hit the erase button and lost the whole interview.
I can remember a time in my life when an experience like this would have sent me into a funk that would have ruined my night. I was disappointed. I did allow my partner to comfort me and say that I’d tried and that it wasn’t my fault. But I also let it go. I remembered Robert’s words and I stopped. Instead of beating myself up and dwelling on how ridiculous it was to hit ERASE, I stayed present. I focused myself on the moment. At home with a comfortable evening ahead of me. I turned off the computer and watched a movie and went to bed early. And it was a good night.
My little setback is small in the scheme of things, clearly, but any moment of noting the way things could go down versus the way you choose for them to go down are practice moments for the big setbacks. We get to choose whether we let things go or to get caught in the sticky webs that keep us frustrated, angry, victimized, or whatever our preferred pattern might be.
What is something you’ve let go of lately?
Brooke,
I just listened to Robert’s interview and it was amazing. What struck me
most was his comment regarding “stepping into the moment of love,” (via Jean Houston) and letting go. This led me to your post. What you said about these “little setbacks” preparing you for the big ones feels so true. We get these opportunities to practice all the time. Mine happens to consistently be
letting go of my favorite ice creams! There seems to be ice cream manufacturers out there committed to creating wonderful raspberry, chocolate
chip ice cream and then discontinuing it. I finally realized one day that this happens to be one of my little tests around letting go. I just let go
of my beautiful dog of almost 16 years, and I was prepared because of stepping into love–full on unconditional love, and the little and big tests that have taught me the art of letting go. These tests matter. Thank you for highlighting this.
~Michele
I know that letting go of Miela has been a HUGE letting go, Michele, and thank you for sharing this. I feel like so often in our culture we’re told to just “let it go,” as if we’re supposed to hold our head high and move on without grieving, without allowing ourselves to process hurt or trauma. I loved what Robert said, too, that letting go is not about washing our hands of things, but that we can shed the hooks and expectations and just accept. It’s an important everyday practice.