Ode to Shadow
In The Deeper Chance, a poem about his dog Mira, Mark Nepo writes:
Now, I understand: God made the animals
as raw breathing elements, each closer
in their way to one aspect of being.
And that the friction of time on earth
might have its chance to make us wise,
God made the animals speechless.
Yesterday my partner and I took our dog to the vet to be put to sleep. I thought about that phrasing—putting her to sleep—as we tried to soothe her in her final moments. We whispered to her what a good girl she’d been. My partner held her body and I held her sweet little face.
Shadow has only been in my life for three years, a part of my partner’s for twelve. I realize that I took her for granted. She was old, a lot to manage, with so many ailments. But Shadow made our home complete. Her presence was unwavering, her noises in the night comforting, her persistent ways somehow part of a routine I didn’t even realize I’d developed and come to love.
It’s a felt absence you feel when an animal is no longer there. They are raw, breathing elements, and what we have to learn from them is perhaps most poignant after they’re gone.
I know so well that “felt absence you feel when an animal is no longer there. . . .” One of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever made was to have my wonderful Mr Stuffy, a Westie, “put to sleep” because of his cancer. The afternoon we said goodbye to him remains as powerful a memory is as possible to have.
Maureen, thanks so much for your sharing and for your comments on the site. It’s so wonderful to hear from you here.